The tale that grew tall

DA DAH! Here it is! A tall tall tale, written one wonderful word at a time by the people of Exeter, over 6 days. Thank you so so much for all your weird, wacky and wondrous words, we couldn't have done it without you.

A TALL TALE

Written by the people of Exeter

 

Once upon a time in Exeter Josie danced around the tree thoughtfully and Roman nosed about Turtles’ Banana biscuit-tins which taste inspired the mad lunatic. Sunny trampoline fun was exhausting-phew! Anyone can/should wear a red hat! Anything is possible. Wow, I am very insane and potty and love trains although I wish Daisy Peculiar killed balloons because of noisy nightmares. All of the lamp-posts smelt peculiar. Ladybirds have wheels for rolling the wheels of industry. Sunflowers, bananas and Shake-aways melt the snow and ice of Niffelheim (the land of the frost giants). Pomegranates exploding causing kerfuffle and amazing cheesy mess. But hairy McCaliry grew a beautiful flower growing tall up into the universe! To heaven!

Magically, they appeared in a different world! Suddenly a unicorn with magical teeth then turned into an elf. Meanwhile my pet volcano said “Donuts with sprinkles, without fun, yet determined to entertain joyfully and superultramicroscopicsilicovolcaniosisly”. Understandably the unicorns grew fast in the Guildhall Dungeon, looking forward to their release from Dawnn’s Dungeon. Witch loves tea cakes and coffee for Dragons. Unusually they jump on their faces, but Tweetie sings and dances badly then suddenly Frederick faints because, unbeknownst to him….

 Think positive! Act frustratingly! No more.

 Frankie went to Brazil. There he let Italy design his tuxedo for his debut performance of the Opera of the Gruffalo. Children will love it. Kittens are beautiful, so are my boys and also Millie is beautiful and pretty. If we all can sing together we make the world smile and shine. Gang mise have consequences.

Harry went to the moon without thinking about what’s happening on Earth when suddenly BOM! There was a huge firework blasting a cascade of diamond shaped cheese that smelt like cheese at Wesley’s house, with his Tigi hair gel and gurgled Molly. Sunny, thank you for the love my dear. Stop dilly-dallying furthermore and begin thinking.

Chocolate oozed plentifully, friendly but hideous, all mixed, and the angel swooped to Earth tearing all computers apart and rescuing the entire plant. Help from Al Gore is available at request but for quite a fee. Unfortunately, Grace bumped into a tree and cried profusely until a Cat-boy began to eat the cheese. He belched out and laughed to himself and loved until the cheese protruded through his nose in the air. You could buy Pooh or Cats/Dogs, maybe even a jumbo jet. Maybe meet your mysteries at the monument situated relatively stickily near the buffalo statue.

 Sunshine poured rainbow stars over republic guinea pigs. A comet appeared suddenly and ate all the stardust alive, ferociously sailing across the firmament. Meanwhile he stood expectantly although unobtrusively. Whilst lingering around he hit me unostentatiously and creatively. “Never mind” sighed the victim, “I’m called Bohemian G from Palmer’s Green”. New York Green cuddled and kept animals safe and joyful. Surprisingly he fell in love with Molly who previously was eating scrumptious, sugary cupcakes with jelly, and was sick on everyone’s drama. However, life is full of drama and surprises. Yet what they had to learn the hard way is everything in moderation, apart from love.

Suddenly a choo choo chewed Buddha and threw a pony at a bus. Then Oxymandias ate Spanish food with Mussels except the Vegetarians and the pigs, very fat and ugly that is why we love them. Red earth city Red coats trampled on Persian cats and vowels. Already Bohemain G thought ‘I don’t know, you should know, elephant, BOOM!’ A long meandering thought occurred- flumptious!  Amazing books, surprising and incredible, intriguingly mysterious.

 Nigel the cup walked to Bubble Bubble Tea so he could get happy on strawberries. Crepes wasn’t poignant, but shallow. A cat jumped tremendously, precariously through the Billabong jungle and suddenly, aghast at the lionisation of the kangaroo. Meanwhile, there was a dinosaur called Pete and a shrimp called Laura, who had breakfast with a sea-troll called Noris. Roustabouts are beating drums whilst singing consequences. Crocodile said ‘Hi’ whilst slouching in reptilian stupor. Penguin ran along the fridge which suddenly froze his toes and bumped into a polar bear called Oliver. Then Oliver laughed loudly. Why? Because he was wearing a silly hat and after seeing the elephant sneeze he fell in the muddy puddle.

 Charlie swam deep and strong until he was flying. He stopped and got some pigs into the tree: the chilly tree was purple and full of spiders. Excalibur flew upwards towards the heavens, up to the sky and the sun. Beautiful Juniper flourishes in Summertime, they blossomed elegantly. Gin is an antidote. In summertime, the spontaneous Beautiful Deer Mother’s birthday frolicked happily through a waterfall. Cantaloupe flavoured lollipops- bliss!

Lady Rainycorn leapt predictably over a star. Gunta the leprechaun shouted “Where’s me thermals?”. “On top of the nearby statue” the guide said, “Marrows”. Help mummy kiss John at the swimming pool. Green warming stars made cheese tasty! Hiccups are annoying!

Mason loves bikes but he flew to space in a race to Mars with Crocadilla pig. The elephant trundled to the waterfall to get water, it was very cold like jelly tots quivering in snow. Tigers always look majestic because they are lovely and dangerous and they have fur and stripes and have claws. Unexpectedly the elephants turned pink and green. However, they started flying high. However, furthermore, hot air balloons burst and exploded into dust. Rabbit and foxes Cleaner’s van, which had no M.O.T, parked inside an igloo with Penguin biscuits flavoured with chocolate and fish.

 Swim wearing a smile and a woolly jumper. 42 glasses smashed in celebration of my birthday. Happy bunny sprang merrily under de los arboles (the trees) singing “Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgwyndrobwllllantisiliogogogoch”. Radish was a pig sty pretending to be an egg whilst sewing a spell. He lived in a light bulb and sold tea, however he also ate cheese.

Once upon a time an otter got hotter because he was in Saudi Arabia, and it was on fire. Then suddenly Alex died and went to heaven where joyfully, sat on her own, she lived in nirvana for evermore, because love rules the day.

In Madagascar, Alex was pottering in the potting shed when suddenly a lion came out of the sunroom and fell painfully upon a drawer of nails. I saw her collapse dramatically in the cucumbers but to her surprise a plethora of sweeties managed to land on the points of every nail. With great points! Rooster arrived in Exeter full of hope and pride. Together with Pauline and Roy and they all had tea together at Clarence Yard. Somehow he went into a complete tailspin. “Please take the needle out of my paw.” A cheetah kindly pulled the needle out using his teeth. Aghast!

 Brilliant to hear a contrast to the strange and eerie sound haunting the streets of Exeter as the guns fired across the landscape, ripping the horizon. Agent Lobb contemplated maths, with no idea… Mr Protein broke his gun. Agent 0 killed himself a goat, turned to me suddenly and said, “Blimey! Never mind the blood darling, let’s have a nice cup of tea”. Running down the volcano, Harriet jumped and broke her arm but she didn’t need it anyway! However she contemplated her loss and understood how her life was, in fact, complete.

BBBBRRRRRRRRR...

Nippy... Chilly... Baltic... Just a few of the ways to say 'blooming heck it's freezing', and the cold weather certainly made it's way into the writings and ramblings of the frosty fingered folk of Exeter today. Despite the chill, we still managed to have oodles of fun, and alongside our ever lengthening Tall Tale, where penguins and polar bears called Charlie made an appearance, POETRY was the order of the day. We challenged passers by to add two lines, one to complete an unfinished rhyming couplet, and one to inspire another budding poet-who-may-not-yet-know-it.
We also delivered countless compliments to strangers, including one beautiful note written in Spanish which we finally managed to deliver to another spanish speaker just as we shut up shop.

Here are two of the poems, both barmy and beautiful.

AN ODE TO EXETER

 

It's a chilly day

I wish it was May

My feet are cold

I'm feeling old.

But I'm not blue

In comparison to you,

Whose glum expression

Reflects the depression

That you may say

Is gone in a day.

Today may be chilly

But don't be silly!

 

UNTITLED

 

I love to dance

And to prance

To jump along the stage

We hope that by doing it we'll get a living wage.

We wish it was a little warmer,

So make it like a sauna.

I really want a pet chicken,

Taste so licken,

And I want a Costa

My son's name is Oscar

And he's very cool

When he jumps in a pool

And sees mutant chickens

Takes a look, "What the Dickens!"

Where they've come from I just can't think

I know, I'll sit and just have a drink.

The weather is brisk, and that is just fine

But this foul coffee tastes just like brine.

Awkward, I feel, feet on the cobbls

It's hard to walk when you're full of wobbles.

In a house full of bats

Wearing tall hats,

All in the dark

I kept missing my mark.

Coffee with a cat

With a french plait,

Clarkes and barks

and suddenly, PARPS.

 

 

And to finish, heres the man himself, the man who brought Belinda into the world, adding a word to the one word story. I believe it was 'Rastabouts'....

 

See you tomorrow folks (and if you are planning to come and find us, three teas would be lovely. Becky takes one sugar).



I'M A CELEBRITY, WRITE ME A LOVE LETTER, and Titanic rewritten

Well Exeter, what fun we've had today! The sun shone, our tall tale went from the mad to the much much madder, and we had some marvellous games of Consequences.

We were overwhelmed by your story generosity, Exonians, and below are just a few of the fantastic love letters created at the Exchange.

Dear Russell, my love,

Every day I miss your beautiful face. The hair like a birds nest, the smile like a cat. Your eyes are like grapes that glisten in the daylight.

Katy Perry said that “ Baby you’re a firework”. She wasn’t wrong… (cheeky).
You’re hotsky like Trotsky, maybe we could get down on the floor?

All my love,

 

Jenny (from the block)

 

 

Darling Jen,

I know you’ve asked me to sacrifice several things for our Darling Ducky-plops, such as cutting my hair and losing the jeans, but they’re part of me and I hope you can learn to love me for the sake of Ducky.

I’ll be seeing you soon, with unconditional love, your Brandy.

 

 

Leo, my dearest,

For years now I have repressed the fire that burns for you. Through peripheral vision I have noticed how your face shines like a lightbulb, your teeth chew like icebergs and hair falls over those wisps of golden hair stroke those caterpillar eyebrows that entice me so…

Release me from this torment. Kate is not worthy of you… Nor Claire… I am your Juliet. Marry me!

Joanna Di Caprio xxx

 Johanna my love,

I wish to INCEPT your dreams and make you the Juliet to my Romeo. As the chefs on the Titanic would say, “Your lips are like red peppers”. For you I would unchain Django, escape the Beach, or find out what’s eating Gilbert Grape. I think you’re ab-fab. Be mine. I could tolerate Shutter Island in your name.

See you in your dreams…. 3 layers deep.

Leo xoxo

 

My dearest Michelle,

You are my very first lady, bringing a smile to my face every time you wave my way. I wonder whether a lady like yourself would have a man drawer? I pace my stage each night wondering whether one day we will grace each other’s paths.

All my eternal love

Michael.

 

Oh Michael,

I wish the ocean didn’t keep us apart, because I can’t express how my heart races when I hear your tales of man drawers and stage walks.

I feel like we are only complete when our hearts beat together.

I love you

Your Michelle xx

 

And that's not all. Three budding screen writers put pencil to paper and picked up the clapperboard, to rewrite the ending of Titanic. And about time too. So for anyone who was, like me, left feeling cold when Kate Winslet snaps Leo's frozen fingers from the flotsam and condemns him to the deep, here are three wonderful alternative finales. (It helps if you have the Celine Dion theme tune running in your head while you read these.)

TITANIC VERSION ONE

 
 
Jack and Rose are stranded in the darkness. There is no room for the two of them, however, Jack blows his whistle and attracts a colony of seals over to them.
Jack removes his tie and Rose, her scarf, and uses them as reins as the seals pull them along.
They end up on a desert island together, and find coconuts and berries to eat.
They make a fire and sleep under the stars.

THE END

 

TITANIC VERSION TWO

 

Rose falls into the water, Jack swan dives in to save her.
However a killer whale swallows him whole.
Rose despairs, but a passing tuna feels sorry for her and pulls her to the safety of an iceberg, where she spend the rest of her days and marries a seal.

 THE END

 

TITANIC VERSION THREE

 ROSE- Let’s fly away on those pelicans Jack

 Jack whistles to the pelicans

 JACK- Rose, hold my hand!

Jack helps Roe into Pelicans beak, then jumps into the other pelicans beak.

ROSE- Fly, fly away to Timbuktu!

 Live Happily Ever after.

 

THE END

All vast improvements on the original, I'm sure you'll agree. AND I know what you're thinking. You're thinking something along the lines of 'Oh fiddlesticks, that all sounds like a right hoot and now I've gone and missed it'. Well, never fear, for the Story Exchange will be out and about ALL WEEK, between 11-4, in Exeter City Centre. So come and write, play and laugh, and then tell your friends about it.

 

Love Dawlish

WOWEEE! What a day we had in delightful Dawlish. Belinda the barrow went down an absolute storm and much fun was had by day and by night. Uncle Tacko had done a brilliant job of love-i-fying the centre of the town, and right from the start there was a strong feeling of community celebration. The townsfolk may not see this kind of event every day, but throughout the day we were overwhelmed by their good spirit and willingness to join in and get silly!

And the Story Exchange staff members were kept busy all day long with the wondrous writings being created and delivered. Much fun was had with our live Twitter Feed with status updates, ranging from the sublime to the downright irreverent and ridiculous, being bellowed for all to hear by our Town Tweeter. The good people of Dawlish also created a barmy Tall Tale, one word at a time, charting the life and times of two chocolate button-eating elephants called Ephemera and Alphonso and their run in with Sausage man and upside-down butterfly.

There were numerous cracking games of Consequences that saw the young, very young and young-at-heart- getting stuck right in creating outlandishly silly stories of love. We delivered countless glittery love stories, exchanged Wish Birds and sent Postcards from the Past, inspired by smells from our scent jars. We also match made unlikely celebrity couples- who knew that Miranda Hart had promised Paul Hollywood endless love with no ‘soggy bottoms’? Or that George Osbourne was nothing without his one true love Jennifer Aniston? Well it’s true, and we have the smushy letters of love to prove it.

But Belinda’s bedtime at four o’clock, as the Spring Sun disappeared behind the oh so familiar wintry clouds, was just the halfway mark for Theatre Rush. We packed the barrow up, wiped off our lipstick and got ready for the evening cabaret, which turned out to be a deliciously raucous affair. We were just one of many acts that evening, and it was a real pleasure to watch the other performers. And what better place to test the ‘defiant vulnerability’ of FLUSHED than in front of a wonderfully rowdy (but very friendly!) audience who had been promised a prize for the best heckle! Cue much audience involvement and a good many laughs... and my body being sold for two old sheep and a roof rack. As I’m unsure of the going rate for elderly sheep, I’m going to hedge my bets and take it as a compliment.

But, back to the Barrow for now, as all this week we are going to be out and about in Exeter City Centre. And to make it easier to track it down, from Monday evening onwards we will be posting our intended route for the following day on our Theatre Rush facebook page. So come on, come and find us. Those stories aren’t going to write themselves you know….

 

All photographs, as ever, by the lovely Chris Jones (who incidentally made a reluctant stage debut at the Cabaret).

First Steps..

Well, she's here and she's beautiful, and with a few minor tweaks she will soon be working like a dream. This week is all about testing, re-testing, tweaking and testing again, so we started our day with a good old play. Cue plenty of ooh-ing and aah-ing and 'what-shall-we-put-in-there' ing.

Proud Mother

Two cups of tea later, we were ready to get the barrow on the road for her first test, much to the delight (and confusion) of a group of Bin men on their tea break. We soon discovered that the barrow is a bit of a head turner, and you can see why. It's highly unlikely that you'll have seen anything quite like it before. We're so sure of that fact, that if you have, Chloe has bravely volunteered to eat all of our hats.

On our spin around the block, we discovered that she's nose heavy (very good news for our biceps), responsive, has an impressively tight turning circle and also, has a bit of a life of her own. Is it strange that this writing desk on wheels is already displaying a bit of personality? (She is however, as first thought, undoubtedly a girl, and a spirited one at that). And personally, I discovered that I need thicker thermals..

But with no time to rest on our laurels, or our mountain bike wheels, it's back to base for us and the barrow. We've got a show to make, and Ed has a few augmentations still up his sleeve. So watch this space for updates, and to watch this baby grow. Roll on Saturday and Love Dawlish.

Announcing The Birth of our Barrow!

Hello there, and welcome to our new blog page. We're hoping to keep you well informed of all Theatre Rush goings on, and would love to hear your comments, suggestions, words of wisdom etc.
I'm going to get things started with a visit to Ed's wonderful workshop...

This morning we had our first practical barrow development meeting to finalise the shape and the bigger working elements of our Story Exchange Barrow. The sun was out, the snowdrops were flowering, and I had a feeling that something amazing was a about to happen. And sure enough, as my eyes adjusted to the dimly lit barn, the smell of woodsmoke and sawdust in the air, I caught my first glimpse- It's a Girl!!

Ed has magicked together a fine and sturdy frame and has begun the jigsaw of piecing together the chests of drawers, bureaus, drawers, bike wheels and poles that will make up the body of the barrow. He also gave us a demo of the ingeniously simple folding roof mechanism. Now, as a company, we have a great and unashamed love of all things simple, and it's very comforting to know that, in Ed, we've found a kindred spirit. User friendly was at the top of our brief, as we're hoping this barrow is going to be travelling far and wide with us. And so, even though when fully opened out, it should be about as wide as a market stall, with an overhanging roof to keep writers dry, Ed has designed the whole thing so that it can collapse down small enough to fit into a car.

Perhaps most excitingly, we feel very safe in the knowledge that Ed has an astounding eye for detail. This was crystalised for me when he proudly brought out the shiny letter box which we're going to set into the side. Not to mention the beautiful handles and label holders he has sourced, which instantly capture that feeling of 'busy office' that we were hoping for. I genuinely can't wait to start labelling, but perhaps that says more about me than the barrow....
By the time we revisit our barrow baby next week, she will have
grown even more, and fingers crossed we she'll be ready to take her first steps with a little spin in the yard. Keep an eye out for more photos on here, but nothing is going to beat meeting her in person on the street; find us between 11-4 in the city centre for all of half term. See our Current Projects page for more information.